BORING is good when you want to be good

Written and contributed by Dr. Chris Hobbs ( Follow him at Twitter @Dr_ChrisHobbs)

 

My youngest daughter is a 14 year old aspiring athlete. Early on in her sport endeavors she’s demonstrated strength, grit, commitment, and some explosive athletic ability. I don’t know how accomplished she’ll become but she puts her all into her athletic participation. She loves it. Practices, games, tournaments, and training sessions are why she gets out of bed each day. Much of me agrees with her; like father, like daughter! She recently came home from an after-school strength training session with the qualified strength coaches we have at our school. I asked her how her session was. ‘Dad, it was boring. We do the same exercises every time.’

This made me smile. We have highly qualified and passionate strength coaches and an elite weight room so the workouts were not my concern. What my daughter was experiencing was the paradox that boring is good when you want to be good. We live in a day and age when we have almost no tolerance for boredom. If something becomes boring, we move on quickly. We can skip commercials, check a different social media network, communicate with whomever we want whenever we want, or scroll our phones while standing in lines.

We have almost completely purged boredom from our lives and that has consequences. One of those consequences is we have forgotten how many boring repetitions it requires to become proficient in a task or skill. Skill development in athletics is a great example, but it has many other applications like earning a degree, losing weight, or saving money for a big purchase. Getting good is boring!

As I worked through my doctorate, I would estimate that 75% of the things I was involved in were boring, but it would not have developed the understanding of content or process necessary to do what was required to finish the doctorate (write a dissertation) if I had not navigated a lot of boring. Boring is not bad if you want to be good at something.

There are a couple of ways to navigate boring while pursuing something good.

1. Check off the completion of tasks as you are working through boring phases. Jerry Seinfeld used to keep a calendar above his desk and cross off each day that he spent 30 minutes working on new jokes. His goal was to create as many unbroken rows of x’s on his calendar as he could. I’m sure writing jokes day in and day out go boring, but we don’t have the humor of Jerry Seinfeld without his tolerance for boring.

2. Develop practical reminders of where you are heading. Post it notes on mirrors, home screens on phones, and daily journals are all great ways to remind yourself of why you started on a boring path to something good.

3. Do boring with other people that are headed your same direction. I spent 3 years working towards a particular goal in strength training during my 30’s. There was a lot of boring days, hard lifts, and failed programs. I kept going many times because I was having a blast being miserable with the two guys I was training with. We did boring together and it was quite so boring.

Mother Theresa is quoted as saying, ‘be faithful in the little things because it is them that your strength lies.’ Boring is hard to tolerate when it comes to commercials and lines but that doesn’t mean that boring is bad. Boring is good when you want to be good. Ironically, when you remember that boring is required to be good, boring becomes exciting!

Keep on, keepin’ on, friends!

‘Bite Down and Don’t Let Go’ is a collection of writings on being intentional about life in a way that produces great persistence. Read about it more here.

Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader and Director of Athletics at The King’s Academy in West Palm Beach, Florida. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and they have three teenage children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for all sorts of inspirational thoughts and good laughs.

Air Force Special Ops Lieutenant Colonel Heath Kerns discusses how to help your team develop mental toughness and perseverance.

His discussion is targeted to Football coaches, but many points are applicable to coaching volleyball as well. Please make sure to click on the video to start the presentation and make sure that your sound is on.

By Dr. Rob Bell

Dr. Bell is a Mental Toughness Coach and Certified Consultant of the Association for Applied Sport Psychology.  He consults with hundreds of athletes, coaches, and teams and has served as the mental coach for PGA tour winners, USTA Champion, and Olympic Medalists.  He is also the author of several mental toughness books. For more information about Dr. Bell and his services visit https://drrobbell.com/

No question about it, self-belief is the most important mental skill.

Belief and trust eventually become the ONLY difference between those who eventually reach continued success and those who don’t or can’t sustain it.

Confidence is King. In the game of chess, when the king dies, the game is over! So, it’s how the game is lost! If there is a loss of confidence and self-assuredness, it’s tough to get it back. We have to start a new game.

So, what’s the only way to overcome a loss of confidence?

Notice I didn’t write a lack of confidence. And that’s crucial.

A lack of self-efficacy means there’s not enough, there’s a shortage, which means WAY more work, planning, strategy, and execution is needed to fill this lack.

A loss, on the other hand, is temporary. We’ve lost, we’ll be back.  We’ll have to start a new game!

I don’t have a lack of keys for my car. I’ve merely lost my keys. Having to go to the dealer or GM headquarters and get new keys manufactured would be awful. Losing my keys is no fun either, but I know I’ll find them, I just have to look in the right spots.

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Remove the Issue

Jack Nicklaus once was asked why he played so poorly the week prior to winning the tournament. He answered “Oh, I slept awful last week, very poor bed. This week, I slept great!”

In the 1992 U.S. open, Ian Woosnam hit an awful shot on the par 3 twelfth hole. He immediately turned to his caddy and said: “there’s something wrong with that golf ball.” Next hole, after switching balls, he purred it right down the middle of the fairway.

Why would these greats not accept responsibility and just say “yeah, I sucked!”  Because that would mean that they sucked! And they didn’t believe that. They believed the situation or external event caused the mistake. 

We need to remind ourselves and others that “self-belief” is NOT the issue! And it’s true! Confidence is a feeling, not thoughts, and deep down they really believe in themselves. So, letting them know trust is NOT the issue means there’s nothing wrong with them.

We need to remove confidence as THE issue.

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Flank the Confidence

B. H. Liddell Hart was a military strategist who examined over 250 campaigns. He looked at what decided the outcome of battles. In almost every campaign it was never just a frontal assault! He found that most battles were won by an “indirect approach.”  A flanking strategy —- A quick move that caught the enemy off guard and they were able to get behind the opposing forces.

The only way to overcome a loss of self-efficacy is the same way.

A frontal assault attacks someone’s entrenched position. It attacks one’s trust in themselves, their beliefs, their values, and the ego.  It also attacks their coaches, their teammates, everything. It gets them questioning and doubting themselves.

We frontal assault someone’s self-belief by telling them, “it’s all in your head” or “you’re not confident enough” or “what’s the matter with you?” It’s easier to crush someone’s belief than it is to build it up…Here’s our infographic showing 5 ways to crush someone’s confidence.

Let them know that since it’s not a belief issue, it’s just that they are focused on the wrong things! 

Focus is Queen. In the game of chess, the focus is how the game is won! We can’t move our king one space at a time and think that will win. Our queen is what wins the game! Focus!

We can’t JUST address self-confidence head on. We need an indirect approach —- when we have a loss of confidence, we need to flank it.

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Overcome The Loss In Confidence-

When we are focused on the wrong things, 99% of the time, we/they are worrying about things in the future or not letting go of the mistakes of the past. We are focused on outcomes, results, and what it may or may not mean. We are time-traveling to the future.

Our focus is OFF.

We need to return to our breath, this moment, this day. Focus on the Now! 

This is especially difficult during tough times, but it’s the ONLY way to return our confidence!

But, If we are truly focused on this moment, then how does self-belief even come into play? It’s ALL about focus in the moment.

There is indeed fear in the future and people, places, and things that are out of our control! Fear lives and ferments in the future. When we look back at our mistakes and all the times we came up short, then there is actual proof how we aren’t good enough.

It gets back to our focus!

Check out Kelly Exter’s blog post on 8 ways to rebuild confidence. 

When we overcome a loss in confidence,  we need to pay attention to all of the things that we say to ourselves. The Voice in our head is negative and we are simply over-thinking! When I overthink, I lose my keys and get off at the wrong exit.

By Dr. Rob Bell

Dr. Bell is a Mental Toughness Coach and Certified Consultant of the Association for Applied Sport Psychology.  He consults with hundreds of athletes, coaches, and teams and has served as the mental coach for PGA tour winners, USTA Champion, and Olympic Medalists.  He is also the author of several mental toughness books. For more information about Dr. Bell and his services visit https://drrobbell.com/

We have more knowledge today literally at our fingertips than ever before. We do not need to search our minds for an answer, or even ask our friends, it’s right there on our phone.

Knowledge is not the problem.

We know how and what to eat to be healthy, but we still have an obesity epidemic.

We know the benefits of exercise and movement, but heart disease is still at an all-time high.

It’s not for a lack of knowledge.

We just choose the easier route. It’s easier to have the milkshake than it is to be in the salad bar line. It’s easier to NOT workout than it is to hit up that spin class.

In our own performance, we know what we NEED to do to become our best. We can’t claim that we don’t know what we don’t know.

Knowledge won’t increase your mental toughness.

Wisdom is what increases our mental toughness and the only way to get wisdom is through experience. That’s why mental toughness is caught more than it is taught.

Experience is built upon action, living, taking part, and being in the game. Once we experience overcoming adversity, we can rely on our life reminders.

If we don’t hold up mental toughness and continuous improvement as a priority and to be the BEST at getting BETTER than it doesn’t happen. It’s not a priority.

Here are 4 reminders to increase your mental toughness
1. Gratitude
2. Just one more
3. Faith
4. Be in the moment

Gratitude
I don’t believe in an attitude of gratitude, it’s an action of gratitude.

Gratitude is a muscle.

We need to take certain steps to exercise our gratitude! I once fell off an 80-foot cliff and I am thankful every day that I am still able-bodied!

It’s tough to be hateful and grateful at the same time.

Once we start counting all that we are thankful for, it gets tough to stop. We all have tough patches in life and we all go through slumps. That’s life.

Then, we see a child who has to receive weekly cancer treatments or someone who just had a life altering injury and can no longer walk.

When we are in that space of thankfulness, perspective, and positivity, we share it with others.

Just One More
When people look for “the secret” or the magic bullet, there really isn’t one. But, there is one technique that comes close to build your grit.

It’s called just one more.

Here’s how it works:

Whatever we are doing, we all reach that finish point. This strategy plays when we reach the end of our day, the finish of our workout, or even the completion of a task.

When we reach that point where we are “done”, then we need to push ourselves to just do one more. Write one more paragraph, make one more call, do one more rep, or one more sprint.

It will increase your mental toughness because “just one more” is how we push ourselves past our current limits and it guarantees that we finish every task strong!

Faith
There is an illusion of control in all of our lives. We think we have more control than we actually do.

The individuals on earth who actually have a precise idea about our own lack of control are in fact institutionalized. The illusion of control provides us an elixir that enables us to operate. If we thought about how little control we actually had, it would consume us, much like those souls in institutions.

Ahh, and that is what happens. We focus on things that are out of our control.

We think about other people who drag us down and we get sad. We think about our current circumstance or issue and get upset. Or we get bogged down in all of the things that we need to do.

We are the actor in our own play, but we are not the director. There are too many external variables in life and our performance that we have absolutely no control over.

Faith is what we need to overcome the temporary setbacks and defeats and negativity. Faith is the belief that “it” will work out. I can’t overextend my energy or force myself to make “it” happen, I just have to have faith and believe.

Besides, we don’t need to work harder, we just need to believe more!

Faith = Flow

When we have faith that we will be successful, we relax. When we know and have trust that our needs will be met, we relax. And when we are at ease and relaxed, we only focus on what’s in our control. Faith gets into the state of flow.

Lastly, I believe that there is a God and I know that I’m not it.

It makes no difference to me what your higher power is, because the example we set is louder than the words we speak. My own faith rests in Christianity and the grace that God and Jesus Christ promises us. That’s my faith.

And faith isn’t really faith until it’s all you’ve got.

Be in the moment
The sexy term is “mindfulness” which is just the buzzword for being in the moment.

Question for you: When you are truly in the moment, how miserable can you actually be?

All of our fear and anxiety is because we are thinking about the future or we are still rooted in the past. That which we fear is next month, next week, tomorrow, or even later today, it is NOT right now!

When we remind ourselves to focus on this moment, this breath, and just for today, we are being mindful.

In order to increase your mental toughness, we need to focus on the now. That’s it, this breath!

We can’t read the directions and expect a cake to appear.

These four reminders to boost your grit are action items. They must be exercised before adversity strikes during times of struggle and after coming out of hardships. Return to the simple tasks and exercise these four reminders…

This article is republished with permission. The original article appears at Peak Performance Sports.

How to Perform well on the court in big moments

By Patrick Cohn

Your mental game for volleyball is especially important when:

• Your team is the underdog – Facing a powerhouse can be daunting. The mystique of a powerhouse can cause some teams to see the game as a loss even before it starts.
• Your team hasn’t defeated a certain team in quite a few years – When a team seemingly has your number, it can cause a team to play tight or try to do too much.
• Your team is young – When your team is young, they often try to impress the coaching staff and often try to play the “perfect match” which heaps the pressure to perform.
• Your team is trying to come back in the middle of a match – Trailing in a match can take a player out of playing in the moment as they begin to calculate the points they need to make a comeback. Some teams fixated on the score become fearful of making mistakes and are slow to react as the opposing team hits the ball over the net.
• Your team is off to a great start – When your team is off to a great start in a season or takes an early lead in a match, some players start to play it safe instead of following the game plan of attacking with an aggressive style of play.

Any of these circumstances can be perceived as big moments and add to the pressure of a competition.

In actuality, are these moments BIG moments or do some players just heighten the importance of the match?

This is where mindset comes into play.

If your mindset is dominated by how big the moment is, you will likely feel an overwhelming sense of pressure.

If your mindset revolves around playing big or playing your best in the moment, you will be better prepared to play to the level of your capabilities.

The Kansas Jayhawk women’s volleyball team found themselves facing multiple circumstances that would test their mindset.

The Jayhawks were riding a 7-game winning streak into their match against No. 4 Texas, a team they beat only five times in the last 47 meetings.

Kansas got off to the quick start taking the first set of the match in dominating fashion, the first time the Jayhawks won the first set of a match in conference play this season.

Kansas pulled off winning a tough second set 28-26.

Texas fought back and took the third set and was winning by as many as six points in the fourth.

Kansas remained unfazed, stayed focused on the task at hand and completed the upset by winning the fourth set 25-23.

Kansas’ big play mentality helped secure the victory, keeping KU as the only undefeated team in the Big 12.

Kansas senior right-side hitter/setter Gabby Simpson revealed the team’s mindset of just playing in the moment that has helped the team play big consistently.

SIMPSON: “The biggest thing I think has been playing consistently. When things don’t go our way, we have to be able to sit back and be like, ‘It’s okay, this happens, it’s volleyball.’”

Junior outside hitter Jada Burse credits the ability of the young players to step up as a big factor in the team’s success.

BURSE: “We are a young team and been the underdog in the Big 12 so far this year. I think not letting the atmosphere get too big for them was key.”

Don’t allow the moment to get too big by seeing it more than it is… It’s a volleyball game, the same game you have played for years.

If you can keep things in perspective, you can play big no matter the situation.

How to Play Big During Big Moments:

Remember, no matter the circumstances you play in, the court and the game is still the same.

Focus on your strategy for each point instead of the outcome or circumstances of the match.

You can’t control the circumstances, but you can impact the current point!